Hey everyone, its been awhile since I actually wrote anything here so I do apologize. With everything that has been happening recently/lately I haven’t had the time to quite do much blogging the last few months. However, I haven’t forgotten my website or anything so here I am coming at you with some life changing news.

 

So some backstory to how all of this transpired is simply put like this, my sister in law is dating someone who is a close friend to my wife and I. Needless to say his mother had recently passed away and he was going through a very rough time. He had so many projects that needed taken care of and he just didn’t have the time to do it all on his own.

 

I figured hey this is the perfect opportunity for me to hop in and give him a hand and see what I could do to help. But man, I wasn’t expecting it to end up changing my life around the way that it did and dropping me on my head. Either way that’s not to say that it is his fault cause the reality is, its not.

 

So over the weekend of the 14th of September, I volunteered to help him out with fixing up his trailer. My wife and I went over there and we were hanging out and I was exploring the property and landscape as well and just seeing the layout and envisioning his ideas and plans that he had told me about. But, while I was there I didn’t know where he was and then I ended up asking. I found out he was on top of the trailer patching up a leak.

 

Well before I knew it, I was on my way onto the roof with him only to give him a hand with tarring the roof. However, little did I know I was setting myself up for disaster. So I climbed up on his porch rails and he came over reached down grabbed my hand and pulled me up and I pushed with my feet to get up to the roof.

 

So we walked over to where he was tarring and we just began the whole process of trying to fix things. He wanted to make it so that his roof leak would be patched but also he wanted to tar it in such a way that the water would run off the roof to the sides. So we got that squared away. My wife then came outside wondering where I was and saw me on the roof and said how in the heck did you get up there.

 

That’s when our friend ended up telling her how I got up there, and this is where the day went from good to really bad. My wife then asked how we would be getting down and that’s when he said well that’s going to be the fun part because he doesn’t have a ladder. So I instantly thought to myself well shit, we are screwed.

 

Well that’s when he said that if we wanted to get down the only way was to jump since he didn’t have a ladder to use. So we went over to the edge of the roof and he showed me where to jump to. It was a hillside but there was a very very small flat spot and so he showed me what to do before I jumped.

 

He jumped and seemed like he was alright which turns out he was however, it was my turn to jump and man this was the not fun part. I was nervous yes but at the same time its not like I had never jumped off of things before considering my brother and I were crazy when we were kids. So I didn’t think much of it and shook off the nerves.

 

I didn’t take a running start and instead I just decided to jump and I jumped to where he told me to but unfortunately my landing was really hard. Hard enough unfortunately that I fell backwards onto my ass and back and my feet just went completely numb. I couldn’t feel anything except tingling.

 

Initially he thought it was just the ground impact shock on my feet and he was like well at least you didn’t break anything cause if you had you would definitely be feeling it right now. But, that’s where he was right but wrong at the same time unfortunately. I had no idea what was going on and it started to make me worried a bit.

 

He ended up asking me if I could get up and walk and I tried but I just couldn’t no matter how I tried to stand it just wasn’t happening. It’s almost like there was no strength or anything left in my feet or calves. I couldn’t feel anything at all and I think that was the scariest part for me but, I toughed it out and didn’t put off that I was scared or worried.

 

Well after trying he told me to hang tight and that he’d go inside get the tar off himself and give me a hand with getting to the porch at least. Well he was gone for a bit and I took the initiative to crawl my pained ass to the porch. Through the stone, grass, dirt, you name it I crawled till I got to that porch and I laid on my back.

 

That’s when my wife came back outside wondering where I was and found me laying on the porch and instantly asked me what I did and what happened. So I told her and she said she didn’t want to end up making an emergency room trip. I didn’t want to either cause I didn’t want to ruin the plans that we all originally made together.

 

So he ends up coming back out and says alright Zeb are you ready to try and get up again with my help. I told him I wasn’t sure but I would try it anyways, and when I did the pain that I felt was so excruciating that I can’t explain how I felt. I stood for maybe 30 seconds top and that’s all I could do. I couldn’t walk or put much pressure on them at all if any.

 

That’s when he was like ok, ok, don’t push yourself, lets get you back down. Now mind you going to sit back down is just like I normally would, one leg back with my foot bending and pressured. When I did that my right foot made a loud popping noise, so I thought, hey maybe I just popped my foot back into place.

 

But, boy oh boy I was wrong, as a matter of fact it relieved some of the pain but not much considering my left foot didn’t pop at all and was still a painful mess. Well after a handful of conversation and whatnot I said that I could have my friend take me to the hospital and that my wife could still go with the crew to our original plan. But, of course my wife wasn’t having that.

 

So he went and found a wheel chair that he had left at his house for quite some time, and brought it over to me. I crawled my way to the end of the porch and somehow managed to get up into it. Then my wife and I and said friend went over to the car and I learned just how strong my upper body was that day and managed to hoist myself into the car.

 

Meanwhile my feet are swelling up like balloons and once we got back to the house I took my shoes off in hopes that it would relieve some pain, which it did. Then off to the emergency room we went after picking up my wallet. We got me out of the car and into a wheel chair and went in, and the two ladies asked how it all happened and the general ER questions.

 

I explained/answered everything and soon enough before I knew it I was heading back to a room where I was sitting for 2 maybe 3 hours of the night. I felt so bad for my wife and work related things and my friend. Didn’t really care about myself in that moment, and still in this moment I don’t, but I do to some degree I guess.

 

Either way I get all checked in and sign my life away, the Doc comes in first and looks at the feet and sends for an X-Ray to be done. I waited a little while and a girl comes in and says its time for me to go get said X-Ray and so we go and this is where things just got even worse.

 

I get back to the X-Ray room and she wheels me in and these two women who were running the joint said to me so how did you manage to do this? I explained, and they said now why would do something like that? I already felt bad enough about everything and in that moment I honestly felt judged. I was vulnerable obviously because of everything that happened.

 

But I think the worst part was when I was going to get on the X-Ray table. These two women didn’t bother to help me. The only thing that they did was scoot me over to it and from there it was all me. I had a helluva time cause the table was higher up than the wheel chair I was in. They didn’t bother helping me out at all and instead I suffered trying to do it myself.

 

So I got all my X-Rays done and whatnot, and after all was said and done, once again I was the only one helping myself get back into the wheel chair. Which mind you both times onto and off of the table was a bitch. Needless to say I went back to the room with my wife and we sat there for at least an hour waiting.

 

My wife and I had talked about everything and beneath it all I was worrying about my job, my wife taking care of me, and how is she still going to be able to go to school and deal with our daughter and work when I am just a broken tool at this point. I didn’t know what to say or do and or even think. So after the long long long wait, the Dr. finally showed up and told us the results of the X-Rays.

 

He looked at me and said your left heel is broken completely and you right heel is iffy and couldn’t tell cause of the swelling. But, after that he ended up leaving and another RN came in and talked to me about the pain and whatnot and asked me how I was feeling. So I told her it was really bad especially with the fact I couldn’t put any pressure on them and they were just throbbing so bad.

 

Basically the RN went out and got me a Vicodin pill to take and then she got a prescription for me to take home and sent one into our local pharmacy so I would have more if need be. But after the Dr. and the RN left, I just lost it. My wife didn’t understand why I was crying or emotionally breaking down and that’s when all my worries and feelings just came pouring out.

 

I felt so bad and ashamed and disappointed in myself that I was just beating myself up over it again and again. I kept apologizing and saying that I am the reason our finances are going to be so messed up and whatnot. I feared losing my job and whatnot and I feared the what comes next part as well. But I feared becoming a burden and pain for my wife to have to bare.

 

Then somehow she managed to calm me down on 3 separate occasions and then finally we were able to get me discharged and on the way home. That’s when we met up with my friend that lives with us and my mom and we all discussed what we all were going to do. We came up with a solid plan and it worked for the most part.

 

So from the 14th to either the 20th or 21st I was couch bound with my feet being iced and then the boots that the ER gave me being on and off my feet. Which by the way I failed to mention the fact that they tried to make me walk twice on my feet and get me to use crutches and thought that having brace boots were going to help me walk when I have a double heel break.

 

So then I called to make an orthopedic appointment and the Dr. they wanted me to go see couldn’t get me in till Friday. My wife wasn’t having that so we ended up calling another Doc and low and behold they got me in the next day. Well you can obviously guess what happened next. I went to the appointment, duh!

 

My doctor had me explain everything and he told me based off the X-Ray’s I had a double calcaneus fracture and they both were bad. Although based off the X-Rays he thought my left one was better than the right, which was opposite to what the Doc said at the ER. However, he was very kind and very informative and my wife and I both agreed he looked like Jackson Avery from Grey’s Anatomy lol.

 

So he put my left side in a cast, and put my right side in a compression splint. Then we had another appointment scheduled for the following Wednesday. Needless to say it was 2 weeks of doctor appointments and getting more and more information about what was going to happen and need done.

 

So now what it comes down to is on the 4th which is tomorrow I am having surgery for the first time in my life, early in the morning. My Doc said he is going to have to put a plate in both heels and screw them in obviously. But, from what he said the procedure should only take 2 hours maybe 3 tops. So that’s not so bad right?

 

However, I just have so many fears cause I have never had surgery done. Never been put under or anything and I just don’t know. My nerves are kind of shot at this point and being scared is at an all time high for me. But, I know I am in good hands and that this Doc is good at what he does. So here’s to hoping everything goes smoothly.

 

Needless to say I could be and this is a very strong could be looking at being out of work till February 2020 which is a long long long recovery time. Obviously I am going to most likely be put back into compression splints after the surgery and then after however long I will be going through Physical Therapy as well. Then after that it’ll be a series of doctor visits in between and afterwards as well.

 

I just hope that I can make it through all of this and come out more motivated to be better and much more careful for my wife and my kiddo and family/friends. I’m not getting any younger and this just showed it to me in the harshest reality it possibly could. So with that said here’s to a long road to recovery and hopefully I can walk semi good after all is said and done.

 

I won’t push myself harder than what the Therapist and Doctor want me to and I will try my best to stay positive. But, I know everyday is going to be a struggle from here on out and I am hoping that I can make a full recovery. Even if I end up walking strangely I will accept that and embrace that as my consequence and it’ll be something I have to live with everyday.

 

But funny enough I said to my wife, this motivates me to actually want to go to the gym and work out and become stronger and become better both as a man physically but mentally as well. So I guess its a waiting game to see what happens and how it all plays out but I am highly motivated now.

 

So for now I am going to end this here, and I hope that through all of this I still have the loving support of family and friends and to those that follow my stream on mixer and also on twitter. I have my real life family, and my online family and you all are what help keep me going and moving forward each day so thank you to everyone.

 

I love all of you and just say a prayer to me or whatever it is that you all may do and lets get through this together. I will come back stronger and better than I was before and things are going to change and be better so lets go and lets do this! No fear right?…I’ll try haha.

 

Sincerely and thanks with all the love in the world to you all,

~Zeb “Leoracle25” Clark

 

Social links are as follows for updates:

http://www.twitter.com/leoracle25

http://www.mixer.com/leoracle25

http://www.facebook.com/leoracle25

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