Ello ladies and gents, so I will start this out with some backstory. I have been a streamer for a couple years now. I won’t say I have all the experience in the world but I do have some. However, with great streams comes even greater sacrifices. At one point in time I was doing 8 hour streams almost everyday after or before I went into work. At times its became really exhausting and back then Twitch wasn’t nearly as big as it is now.
However, I felt as though I was going nowhere. Truth be told I wasn’t because I wasn’t networking properly and I wasn’t having my friends moderate or share my stream. I didn’t utilize the tools that were right in front of me. However, I took a 2 year hiatus from streaming and decided to just focus on my life at that point in time. I had just went through some serious bullshit with my ex and it was all becoming too much.
However, fast forward to August 2018 I sat down with my wife and I discussed streaming again and really giving it a chance/go this time around. I explained to her that the long term perks of streaming could be really good or it could all be for nothing. Streaming is a competition and isn’t as easy as it looks. Networking can be fun and all but its definitely not a game. You piss off the wrong person and it could ruin you or ruin both parties involved.
Needless to say I discussed with her that it could be hit or miss but if I can get Affiliated I will be happy with that, which don’t get me wrong I am. However, more so recently I put a little more serious thought into it. I have been stressed out alot more lately and although streaming does make me happy as it is a tool that I can utilize to game alongside viewers or friends or whomever it’s not helping me right now.
However, my wife and I had recently sat down and talked about a plan of stopping the stream after 3 hours and to which we agreed that’d work out better. But, through all of this I came to realize there’s something missing. Something important almost like an underlying factor that is drilled into my head. For awhile I couldn’t figure it out and that’s when it hit me.
Sunday I said to my wife, I think I am going to stop streaming. She was puzzled and asked me why I would do that. I explained to her that with our daughter being so young still that its too big of a sacrifice to make. Then I went on and on with more personal stuff that has to do with myself, wife and baby girl. Needless to say the decision was made with a heavy heart.
I realize that there are some out there who have sacrificed everything to make it and there are those that rose to the top by networking perfectly. Then there are those that have been able to sacrifice/compromise with their husbands/wives or significant others and then work around their actual families and work schedules. For me that is pretty hard to do. In the back of my mind I have felt nothing but guilty about everything.
Now don’t get me wrong that doesn’t mean I sat here and neglected my wife or daughter, it means that the sacrifice overall isn’t worth it. If days and time worked in a way where I could set a personal schedule I would do that. But with only 24 hours and 8 of those hours every other day going to a personal job and the rest of the time being split between my daughter and wife, streaming and then the running that we all do in this house.
It’s pretty much impossible to stay 100% consistent. My daughter loves watching dad play games but I think its one of those things that I cherish when I am off stream and she is all excited to see me playing Final Fantasy Brave Exvius. Fact of the matter is I am willing to sacrifice and go without streaming for the sake of my family but, I am not willing to sacrifice alot of my time with my family to stream. If that makes sense..?
The decision wasn’t taken lightly and it was with a heavy heart that I just let it go. Fact of the matter is I will always value family more than gaming and I need to do the right thing here. That’s not to say that I won’t play video games at all anymore, I will, just not on stream and maybe not nearly as much. Time is a strange strange thing and this world works in a mysterious way.
But at the end of the day I realize that priorities have to be made and things need to change and so I am making a rather big change for me and my family. So here’s to a good 2019 and eventually I will start streaming again, I don’t know when, but when I do everyone will know. Either way to those that have followed my stream and followed me on twitch/twitter/facebook.
I thank each and every one of you for your support and whether you stopped in for a hot minute or stopped in for the entire stream duration I loved it. I loved sharing my moments of laughter, joy, frustration, and craziness on stream with you. However this is not good bye, this is see you later.
Thanks everyone & best of luck,